– DJ Swole – BlazeRadio General Manager/DJ
[email protected]
Hello Friends. It is now the time of the year when we stuff our faces with turkey, bruise our neighbors to save 50 dollars on a new television for Black Friday, and watch a ton of football. However, most of us don’t take time to realize what the rules are for the holiday season. Fear not! For I, DJ Swole am here to help you with 15 rules to follow this Thanksgiving season.
1. Macaroni and Cheese is disgusting. I don’t care who cooks it. You are welcome to eat it on Thanksgiving, but don’t bring it near my house.
2. There is a crisis if there is no cranberry sauce somewhere on the table. It has to be there. And the answer is yes, you can eat cranberry sauce simply by itself. Maybe even for dessert.
3. Stuffing and dressing are the same thing. I’m willing to actually fight about this. The only thing different is the shape. It tastes the same. If you eat stuffing, then you eat dressing, and vice versa.
4. The television must always be on football. Make sure that you are in a prime position to eat in front of the tv, because it is allowed on this glorious. If anyone tries to change the television, their hand should be red from a smack.
5. Take a nap after you eat. It is acceptable if that nap is 2 hours long. Make sure that you are comfortable.
6. Make your take home plate right after you make your first plate. That way, there is no complaint about there not being any food when you want leftovers later.
7. After your nap, get ready to go Black Friday shopping. Black Friday has essentially become Black Thanksgiving Night. And let’s be honest, all of the deals will be gone in the morning.
8. You cannot put your Christmas decorations up until after Black Friday. This is Thanksgiving’s time. Let her have her holiday without all of you looking ahead to December.
9. If I see a picture of your 1st, 2nd, or 3rd plate on Social Media, you are obligated to bring me, DJ Swole, a piece of the Thanksgiving meal. Whether it is turkey, potato salad, or cranberry sauce, there should be a piece reserved for me. And if you bring Mac and Cheese, we will throw hands.
10. Dress nicely for dinner. Do not come to dinner with a tank top and sweatpants looking like a GTA created character. It’s too cold for that and you will be dismissed.
11. Hug everybody that’s in the house when you get there. It’s polite.
12. If dinner starts at 3 p.m., get there at 3:15. You know the food won’t be ready at 3 anyway.
13. When it’s time to say grace, pick the person that won’t turn it into altar call. Someone who definitely thanks God, but also understands that everyone is hungry.
14. If someone comes in to grab a plate and then leave, you have to side eye them the whole time. Unless they have to work.
15. Be grateful. Be thankful for the people surrounding you and loving you, and for the blessing to have a lot of food to eat while watching tv. Be grateful for the fact that you have the privilege to go and shop for the next holiday, and be aware that the privileges you have on this wonderful holiday are not available to a lot of people around the world. So count your blessing.
Have a happy Thanksgiving!
